Lots to move through this evening as we peruse the wreckage of what will forever be known as the Black Weekend Of Horror, and it's only 9.30 Sunday night.
Balconies and fireworks' factories don't normally rub shoulders, but they did this weekend when there were too many shoulders a-rubbin.
The carnage started when a shop awning collapsed in a torrential storm at Balgowlah, killing an unsuspecting Craig Taylor, 53, who was described by his family as a "fantastic human being".
AAP reports that 'investigators' will examine if the weight of pigeon droppings left after years of roosting in the hollow awning contributed to its fatal collapse.
Blame also fell upon the continuing ferocious weather that has led to the SES receiving 359 calls for assistance across the state.
I find this rather scary as I live about a metre from a pigeon infested balcony. Hang in there building, I need this place. My fire inspection scheduled for Tuesday is scary enough. As an anarchist I'm wary about such things.
I mean, it can't be for my benefit, as society is full of entrapments designed to kill me off, from MSG to mobile phones.
Well, at least according to the fine print.
Then on Saturday night in Surry Hills someone was having a house party - never heard of that before - when, whooshka bang, and seven people are carted off in meat wagon to St Vincent's and the RPA for their sins after a balcony gave way and crashed to the ground.
Someone probably put on Plastic Bertrand. That'd make sense. All those cokehead yuppies would be smashed by 10.30pm.
According to AAP (again) about 50 people were at the party on Saturday night in Smith St, in Surry Hills, when the balcony collapsed at the back of the premises around. Their injuries ranged from cuts and bruises to a broken arm, a broken ankle and back injuries.
Then the carnage got weird - on Saturday seven people were injured - three seriously - when a balcony collapsed at a house in the Dandenong Ranges east of Melbourne.
Luckily all this carnage is good business. Archicentre - the building advisory arm of the Royal Australian Institute of Architects (RAIA) - took the opportunity to issue a warning about unsafe balconies and decks.
Further Whooshka bang happened closer to this blogs' abode when Wallerawang got the sort of entertainment reserved for Harbour Bridges on New Years Eve.
The police bomb squad attended the scene at Wallerawang, near Lithgow, and thjough the cause remains a mystery it hasn't stopped the media howling that there were "suspicious circumstances" surrounding the impromptu cracker night.
The company? Howard and Sons.
Mr Howard explains.
"These fireworks, they're professional fireworks and they're not deemed to be extremely sensitive in that capacity," he said.
"[They] really require ignition or an ignition source, or a fire or sparks of some nature, to set them off."
Well, that's a relief. I'd never have thought of that about firecrackers, would you? This man is an expert.
When the Dane pondered Man as "How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, how like a god in apprehension" he wasn't referring to this guy.
Amidst all this architectural mendacity a slimy banking monster decided to rise from the deep
Westpac Banking Corporation's boss David Morgan said exposure to competition from foreign banks was good for Australian banks.
For competition, read buying up one of the big four. You heard it here first - the banks are selling up and getting out. That's a vote of confidence in our economic future if ever I've seen one.
My advice is to gather together everything of value and keep it secreted in a good strongbox buried very deep.
David Morgan is set to retire - as should I if I continue to peddle this tripe as news - the difference being Mr Morgan will have considerably more digits in his bank account when he joins John Howard and pulls on the plus fours.
"This country has given me unbelievable opportunity and I want to give back to this country and to people who are starting life or going through life without the same extraordinary good fortune that I have."
We know it has - that's the problem.
Luckily Doonesbury is in fine fettle, and keeping things in perspective in the forthcoming presidential primary race - which is descending into who is going to wrestle the fiddle off Nero.
As a batsman with an average that looks like the half life of Khomeinium, it was no mean feat. I cannot continue my not out innings next week as I am attending the wedding of This Man.
We do wonderful things for our friends.
The ACTU agrees, they've decided to agree with me and have told the ostriches how it is.
They said voters last month had rejected the former government's election advertisements against unionists.
"What we'll be doing is talking to the government and those people who are responsible (for workplace relations)," Jeff Lawrence, who is numba wan union pela these days - said today. Which isn't much - but it's something.
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