Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging lefty fought for minimum water quality standards.
With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie bastard fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $7.50 of his medications are paid for by the PBS because some lazy union workers fought for universal public medical insurance, Medicare – now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man fought for laws to regulate the meat industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby do-gooder fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.
He walks to the train station for his government-subsidized trip to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants socialist fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, sick leave, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy union bludgers fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union.
If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment benefits because some stupid bleeding heart didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the Reserve Bank because some godless ALP hack wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is safe because some fun-hating technocrat fought for car safety standards.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by single desk trading boards that allowed farmers to bargain collectively. The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government ALP stooge stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on a pension and a union superannuation fund because some Chardonnay swilling lefty made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home and turns on a radio talk show. The talkback host keeps saying that leftys are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Liberal Party and big media have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.
Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government socialists ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”
With apologies to PunkVoter.com
